Macworld "Andy Ihnatko"

The Expo has to grow

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:00:00 GMT

It was the day before Macworld Expo 2010 opened and I was at the media registration desk to pick up my press badge. Naturally, I bumped into several people I knew. We all went way, way back. In some cases, I’d been bumping into these people at Macworlds every year for over a decade. Which was a good thing, because every time I heard someone say, “It’s too bad this will be the last year for the show, isn’t it?” I wanted to punch them. Luckily, friends tend to pick themselves off the ground instead of calling the cops.

How the iPad is like the Moon landing

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:00:00 GMT

And now it’s the iPad. All other Apple platforms please scoot over one space to make room for the new arrival: iPhone, MacBook, iMac, iPod, Mac Pro...

Cranking the handle on the Apple rumour mill...

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 10:00:00 GMT

I’m sitting here in my office, wondering just what the hell I’m going to write about. In the time between when I started this column and… not quite… hang on… alllll most… rrrrighhttt… nnnNOW!… news broke that Apple had reserved the Yerba Buena Gardens in San Francisco for a few dates at the end of January. It’s a largish hall and was the site of Apple’s most recent iPod announcements.

In mouse design, Apple lacks the Magic touch

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:26:00 GMT

Have you ever had a four-year-old try to tell you a knock-knock joke? A knock-knock is universally understood as a straightforward, five-step transaction that begins with “Knock knock” and ends with “Dwayne the bathtub – I’m dwowning”. But by the time the kid gets there, the narrative has been embellished beyond recognition. It was a simple, taut and effective piece of comedy before she started ‘improving’ it with pirates, vampires, and a sparkly pony named Eric.

What's gone wrong with the Apple TV?

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:00:00 GMT

Yes! A new update to my Apple TV has been released! This is going to be awesome! Woo-hoo! Look at... um... yeah, huh, look at that. The menus. They’re all different and stuff. And now there’s support for ‘iTunes LP’ and iTunes Store video with bonus DVD features and other new iTunes-enhanced products that I’ll never buy. Um...hooray?

iWork: where's the app for that?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:00 GMT

There have been days when I’ve filed an article, closed my office and gone on a long weekend. Sometimes, though, just after setting off, I’ve received a call saying that my usual editor’s away and could I send my copy to her assistant, or could I rewrite it to take in some late news, or that I’m not allowed to say, “Right about now, Palm is about as embarrassed as that ‘lady’ athlete who was caught smuggling plums.”.

Absolutely perfect or perfectly acceptable?

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:00:00 GMT

I feel as though I need to preface this column. Your eyes scan warily ahead and yes the words ‘Apple’ and ‘tablet’ do appear liberally herein. But I wish to assure you: this isn’t another Damned Apple Tablet Speculation Piece.

In anticipation...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:00:00 GMT

And now, it’s Snow Leopard. By the time you read this, Apple may have announced a ship date for Mac OS X 10.6, or even shipped it. As an Apple follower, it’s par for the course that I’m less interested in the thing itself as in its potential as an engine of speculation. And the more half-assed the better.

A bit of MobileMe time

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 07:00:00 GMT

I’m sure you have that favourite band, TV show, or movie that you absolutely adore and desperately pray to every God listening that you never have to defend in public.

Microsoft bites back

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:48:00 GMT

It was sort of a way of restoring balance. A few months ago I installed Mac OS 10 on a Windows netbook. So, karmically, I had to install Windows on my MacBook.

How to break an iPhone

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT

Right. No foolin’ around. The situation is dire and will only get more so as time marches onward. So let’s roll up our sleeves and design Apple a new iPhone.

The cycle of spin

Mon, 18 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT

Now that Apple’s big, glitzy Vegas act has been moved from San Francisco in January to San Francisco in June, we here in the Mac community have had to deal with five months’ worth of deferred excitement. I’ve put together a rough inventory of things that we all seem to be excited about:

Mini revolution

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 07:00:00 GMT

Hackintoshing a Dell Mini 9 netbook has been a real education. I... Hmm. Yes, that opening sentence requires explanation.

How do you people get through the day?

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:00:00 GMT

The little Inspector panel here in my word processor reports that this question is only 63 per cent rhetorical (is there anything that Scrivener can’t do?). I have half a dozen working computers in my office and there are times when bringing you a column is like getting the Pony Express from Plum Creek, Nebraska to Sacramento, California. I ride one until it’s lame, then I jump off, grab the mochilla and jump onto the computer that’ll carry me the next ten miles or so.

Pro is the only way to go

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:00:00 GMT

By now, we’ve had our hands on iLife ’09 for a week or so, and clearly the ’09 editions reflect some serious upgrades in features and performance. As consumer photo and video editing programs, they’re packed with protein and help to build strong bodies.

From the Book of Jobs

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 12:00:00 GMT

And now we have moved on to rumours of a Mac netbook. This is how I mark the passing seasons these days. Others muse about how it seems like yesterday that we were carving pumpkins for Halloween. I get all nostalgic for the days when everybody was certain that Apple was about to release a tablet Mac.

How Apple could make e-books work

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:52:00 GMT

Since the iPhone App Store opened, a non-negotiable part of my day is devoted to safely guiding cartoon animals around a go-kart track. And I’ve yet to encounter someone who finds PhoneSaber as funny as I do, but every new person I meet is a new opportunity to prove every last friend and family member wrong.

Locked out

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:00:00 GMT

If I thought conditions were primitive on board the cruise ship I sailed on last year to Mexico – and honestly, they were: beverages in the four restaurants included milk, water, lemonade and iced tea… but you were charged extra for sodas and mixed drinks – they were nothing compared to what my ancestors faced nearly 100 years ago.

Keep taking the tablets...

Thu, 15 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

It’s time to talk about Macs and tablets. And the first thing we need to address in any conversation is, of course, the likelihood of this ever happening. Let’s face it, if the average human is required to maintain the fantasy that a Mac tablet is an imminent product, we’re talking Keith Moon quantities of hallucinogens and a pill the size of the mouse from the original iMac.

Keep taking the tablets...

Thu, 15 May 2008 02:00:00 GMT

It's time to talk about Macs and tablets. And the first thing we need to address in any conversation is, of course, the likelihood of this ever happening. Let's face it, if the average human is required to maintain the fantasy that a Mac tablet is an imminent product, we're talking Keith Moon quantities of hallucinogens and a pill the size of the mouse from the original iMac.

Paradise or prison?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:00:00 GMT

So, you’re a petty tyrant and dictator, hypothetically. One of your subjects strides into your throne room and demands the freedom to emigrate from the country. “Why would you want to leave Macworldreaderstan?” you ask. “Is it not an utter paradise? That’s partly why I had those 80ft-high fortified walls built around the whole nation… just to keep people from lesser-off nations from barging in.”

Paradise or prison?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 05:00:00 GMT

So, you're a petty tyrant and dictator, hypothetically. One of your subjects strides into your throne room and demands the freedom to emigrate from the country. "Why would you want to leave Macworldreaderstan?" you ask. "Is it not an utter paradise? That's partly why I had those 80ft-high fortified walls built around the whole nation… just to keep people from lesser-off nations from barging in."

Hot Air

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT

Like Jesus Christ, the MacBook Air’s coming was foretold and its arrival was eagerly anticipated... and now that it’s on sale we’re dealing with a crying and bawling newborn that demands to be fed and adored with gold. $1,799 worth, and I know that’s in American money but it still stings.

Hot Air

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT

Like Jesus Christ, the MacBook Air's coming was foretold and its arrival was eagerly anticipated... and now that it's on sale we're dealing with a crying and bawling newborn that demands to be fed and adored with gold. $1,799 worth, and I know that's in American money but it still stings.

Word search

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:20:00 GMT

A car will always be an even number of wheels controlled by a steering wheel and a number of pedals proportionate to the number of feet attached to the average human being. The hammer: hold it by the wooden end, swing the metal end at the nail, repeat until either the nail is flush with the surface or your mum runs in screaming about her antique oak writing desk.